Jeewan Online

The month of Ramadan came quickly and now, she is leaving us. It has been a great opportunity for me to share these reflections with you and I thank you for any feedback or appreciation as it was always useful.

The other day, I was having a conversation with a sister who is in the middle of a very difficult time. Sadly, she made some mistakes and the consequences has taken a toll on her. Still, instead of remembering Allah’s mercy, she kept re-visiting her mistake and the problems that it caused. As I was reminding her of Allah’s mercy and that she should not allow people who continue to rub her mistakes in her face to pull her down, she said that dealing with things like this would be different for me. I wondered how and she replied, “You’re a good person.” Immediately, it reminded me of a conversation I had many years ago with someone else who said to me, “Come on, for sure you know your’re going to heaven, you work hard and do good for people.” These were troubling to me.

While it is true that we tend to judge people by what we see of them, it is VERY important that we do not lose the message for the messenger. There is no one who knows who will go to heaven or not. Only God is the judge. It is only normal that we hold on to what we see in the actions of people, but it is equally important to remember that there may be many others, far less visible, who hold a greater station in the eyes of God. For those who are in the “eyes of people”, I would be careful that we do not get caught up in the icon-ism of popular culture. Many times, it makes us feel good to hold up a moral threshold to some people. Often they are quite visible and so we equate them with the 100% Muslim status. It happens to many speakers, performers, scholars, the children of scholars and community activists etc. However, if ever those people make a mistake, it comes to us like a sudden blow, “so and so did……” or “did you hear that …..” In wider society, we see this in all of the tabloids, shows and different media dedicated to following people/icons/leaders around.

It takes us by surprise as if those people were not human to begin with. The danger with that is that if those people did “mess up” or made some mistake we begin to doubt everything that she/he said. Because we held up a bar for them that we may/not hold for ourselves. When many Muslims speak publicly, they often conclude their speech by saying, “anything that is good from what I have said is from Allah and anything wrong is my own mistake.” This is because, good will exist through time and is not dependent of us. Whatever is good is connected to God and is not in need of people for it to exist. Sometimes however, men and women can make mistakes. So while we judge by what we see, let us not assume that we know people or who will/will not go to heaven. And let us not reduce Allah’s great message to the messengers who may remind us of it. If there is good that we find in someone, let us remember to thank them and thank Allah. Allah used that person as a tool to bring good to us. We should thank them and Allah for the reminder. We can admire, look up to them, see them as a role model because they carry with them light from Allah SWT; for trying to follow His path. But the goodness that we see, is from the sincerity of submission to what has been laid out for us by Allah SWT.

If that person makes a mistake or does something that surprises us, let us not lose sight of the perfection of Allah’s word. Instead, let us remind ourselves to hate the sin, forgive the sinner and pray for them. Let us remember that this is from the imperfections of humanity, something that ALL people share. Insha Allah, by Allah’s mercy they will be guided back to what is good, true and that will earn them His mercy and forgiveness. In other words, we should never say, “well if so and so made that mistake…then who am I?” and then give ourselves the license to fall into sin or commit wrong. This is an extension of an illness within our popular culture and it adds additional pressure to many people who end up being in the public “eye”.

Let us remember that there will be people we saw and knew as religious who may enter Hell while Allah forgave a prostitute her sins because she brought water to a dying dog.

As for me, I am a person like everyone else. I try to do what I can. Sometimes I do well, other times I mess up. I try to forgive others so Allah will forgive me; to be merciful to others, to receive His mercy; to hide the sins of people with the hope that my sins are covered for me and never to be harsh in judgement because I want God to be lenient with me.

We don’t suspect or presume to know who will earn God’s favour, because the truth is we don’t know. We treat people with respect and keep asking God to continue to guide us ever closer to a truth that will bring us to Him, to liberate us from servitude to the creation to serving only Him…..we should never lose sight of this and at the end of the day all we can do is try our best. Whatever good comes, it is by the will of God; whatever bad comes, it is from our own indisgressions…so we pray to always be guided on a path illuminated by God, onto the path that will earn His favour and blessing and with love, compassion and mercy for all.

And Allah knows best.

Our beautiful guest is getting ready to depart from our company. This beautiful opportunity is about to slip away from our grasp. Will we live to see you again, oh beautiful one? Will we see the opportunity again when the gates of Paradise will be open to us and the one despised is chained. A chance for us to realize our strengths, to work on our weaknesses, a chance to recognize our spiritual potential when we have pacified our carnal desires.  A chance to realize that we are more than we believe; that we have the strength to do so much more…to realize that our potential is limitless when we have God with us to give us strength.

 Oh servant of God, how is she leaving you? Are you ready for what comes after she leaves? Did you make a change? Did she transform your heart or leave you bare with nothing new? Will you live another year to accept her grace and bounties once more or could this be the last of your opportunities….as she leaves, busy yourself in making the most of your time; to capture what you can of her essence, to hold on to it for the rest of the year. Our beautiful guest is leaving; thank You Allah for her Baraka, please accept from us what we have done, You are most forgiving, You love to forgive, please forgive us our sins and accept our duas and fulfill them for us.

As we think about how her departure, perhaps it is fitting for us to take a moment to review some of the reflections we have thought about this month, with the hope that it may lead to some changes in our lives thereafter:  

• Stop blaming others for our circumstances; instead look within ourselves to see what choices we made that led us to this situation.
• It is only when we change ourselves first, that we can expect our circumstances to change.
• All situations in our lives, presents to us opportunities for our best and greatest good, we should trust in Allah and be patient knowing that Allah, the most Perfect, the Most Merciful would never give us a burden more than we can bear.
• Stop judging others in our lives and remember- hate the sin and not the sinner. We should remember that if we were in other people’s situations, we may repeat their mistakes.
• Forgive, if we expect Allah’s forgiveness
• Show Mercy on others, if we expect Allah’s mercy
• Make dua
• Live in the present, not the past or the future
• Our whole life and all we do in it, is a part of worshipping Allah.
• We are a part of Allah’s perfect plan; we are a part of His Perfection and so we should never give anyone the power to take that away from us by their words and actions (this is why oppression is forbidden).
• All we have in our lives is not ours; it is a trust from Allah and we should use it to support ourselves and the creation of Allah.
•  The outward is a manifestation of the inward. What we see around us and in others, is a reflection of what is within us.
• Be grateful to Allah and to those who help you in your life. Remember to express your thanks through your words and actions.
• Be Patient
• There is a priority when it comes to your responsibilities; more importantly, we must remember to fulfill them!
• You have a talent and a purpose; Use your talents to make your community and the ummah a much better place.
• Your sisters and brothers have rights over you. Treat them as you would like to be treated, cover their faults and rush to meet their needs before they even ask you.
•  Say, “I love you for the sake of Allah”, to your brothers and sisters and treat them accordingly.
•  Every soul will taste of death, it is a part of the journey that is inevitable. Instead of fighting it, we should live each day keeping in mind that from God we have come to Him is our return. Instead of fighting this reality, we should prepare for it.
• We will stand before God to give account for all our actions, good AND bad. On that Day, no Injustice will be left and the balance of justice will be restored. It is for this reason, we should always walk the road of humility when we interact with others.
• We should work to try and improve ourselves and try to continually improve ourselves and keep these thoughts circulating in our minds, as Allah SWT says that the reminder profits those who believe. So let us be reminders to each other and encourage each other to build our characters and to use our abilities for the good of our selves, families and societies.

Today my beloved brothers and sisters, let us make a commitment to try and change, to improve, to be sincere, to assist, to love, to care, to forgive, to show mercy, to have patience, to be grateful, to make dua, to be humble, to commit to positive change, to live in the present, to make the most of what we have, to share, to care, to meet the needs of our brothers and sisters- whomever they are, wherever they are, to speak always for justice and truth, whether it is against ourselves or others, to be brave enough to have the courage of our convictions, to remember that our time in this life is borrowed time and none of us knows when it will end, to remember that we get back in life and after death what we have given in this life, to try and be balanced in what we do, to be just and to keep taking ourselves to account …. In this way, I pray that for all of us and our families, that Allah will be pleased with us, and make us truly shine as beacons for society and the world – Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.

We forget sometimes that Allah’s sunnah for this world is based on different laws. These include the law of balance and the understanding that what we put out will come back to us. We are supposed to be a nation of the middle way- not one of extremes. The idea is that life is a balance and what we put out (as we talked about when discussing forgiveness and mercy) is what comes back to us. So when things happen in our lives, its either because we behaved in a particular manner so it eventually came back to us OR in other cases, things happen in our lives and in the world to restore balance.

For example, at times we don’t realize that if we hate ourselves; or disrespect ourselves that we create a cycle that allows others to do that to us as well. Sometimes, when we make mistakes we get so caught up in guilt and pain that we forget to focus on Allah’s love and mercy. We live in that negativity and that also causes others to treat us the way that we treat ourselves.

It only becomes worst when the people in our lives reinforce those mistakes or keep “rubbing it in our faces”.  Whenever a situation happens in our lives, the first question we must ask ourselves is “what have I done to create this problem?” and “what do I need to change in my behaviour to change my situation?”  Once we answer this, we must begin the process of change. At the same time, if ALL we focus on is the mistake or the problem, we will never be able to move forward to a more positive space and relationship with Allah. Just as we have created one cycle of how people treat us, people who pass

judgement on others (or they are unforgiving/unmerciful) forget that the way they treat people will come back to them, either in this life and even worse, in the way that Allah will treat them in this life and the next. It is also important to remember that what we do individually comes together as a community; collectively our individual efforts come together to present us with the situations we see around us.

The truth is, to change our situations, we MUST begin by changing ourselves AND we must remember that our character with others is MORE important than the amount of books we read and classes we have attended. A good example can be found at your local mosque…have you ever noticed the fire traps that exist the way we leave our shoes everywhere? How long would it take for us to put them neatly? What if one day there was a fire and someone tripped over your shoes and died? (extreme example, which we pray never happens and seek refuge in Allah from it – the point is we don’t think about the consequences of our actions).

An even more grotesque example is the state in which the bathrooms are kept! We are supposed to be one of the cleanest nations on the earth; but you would hardly think so, if you went to the bathroom at a local mosque. The same can be said for parking in neighbourhoods and at the mosque itself. It often surprised me when I used to volunteer to do parking many years ago at the local mosque how many people would come up and start swearing because there was no space left to park in the mosque. They would insist that we let them in; and why were they swearing? So they could go and pray! Hardly would anyone stop and say “Thank you” to those who were standing in -20 degree weather to try and help with parking. The examples can go on and on and I am sure that every reader has some. 

But the point is, that if we disrespect ourselves, respect that there are laws designed to govern this world and we do not follow the sunnah of the prophet peace be upon him then we will suffer the consequences. We can’t blame anyone else for our problems. We have to take responsibility for ourselves. And once we recognize them, there is no need to sit and keep reviewing them or playing the “blame game”. We correct our mistakes, ask Allah’s forgiveness and replace our mistakes by keeping busy doing good deeds.

When we deal with others in our personal relationships and within our communities, let us try to make errors in forgiveness and not in punishing them. This is how introspection should influence our daily lives- it should show up in our characters; in how we treat others; in taking responsibility for ourselves; in making positive differences in the world.

Let us use this Ramadan to make a difference in our lives in terms of forgiving ourselves; in how we treat others and how we interact within our communities- THIS is the balanced approach- the way to Allah SWT.

May Allah illuminate a path for us to Him~ameen.

The desert Arabs say, “We believe.” Say, “Ye have no faith; but ye (only)say, ‘We have submitted our wills to Allah,’ For not yet has Faith entered your hearts. But if ye obey Allah and His Messenger, He will not belittle aught of your deeds: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” 49:14

We often say “we believe” but often times, it is difficult for us to truly say “I submit to His will”. I often think about the times when things may not be going the way I planned or despite all my efforts, things may not have worked out the way I hoped. Many times, the first human emotions to such events are disappointment, worry, fear, sorrow and/or frustration.

However, once we do our best and make dua for what we would like, then we should know and understand that everything else is a part of Allah’s Perfect Plan. The reason for our personal sadness/disappointment is because we often see/understand such events in the “small picture”, as it pertains to ME or I. If we stop and think about it, we may be able to see and understand what has happened in the “big picture” and perhaps understand how it is good not just for ME but for all of US. After all, none of us live in isolation. Our lives, activities, hopes and aspirations are often contingent on others as well.The big picture is important for us to remember that whatever Allah, plans and allows to happen is for our best and greatest good. Regardless of if we understand something or not OR we ourselves would like a different outcome, whatever Allah allows to happen is for our BEST and greatest good.
It is for these reasons that we should be content, keep in mind that His plan is perfect, that it is what is best for us and to patiently persevere. Instead of funnelling our energies in negative ways by worrying, stressing out ourselves, becoming angry etc…we should try to see the good in everything; understand that there is a bigger picture and that this is a part of the ultimate Perfect Plan which is for our best and greatest good.

Allah puts in front of us the things that will help to bring us to Him and because we are all like finger prints- unique….so too are the paths we will follow to meet Him. TRUST in HIM and remember to remind yourself to SUBMIT to HIS will. The perfect One can make no mistakes…so instead of trying to take it on yourself next time, becoming riddled with pain or sorrow; let it go and place whatever it is back into Allah’s hands and trust that He will do what is best for you and your family. A lesson, we should continually remind ourselves of!

“The best among you is he who the people can hope for good from him and feel safe from any harm and the worst of you is he who people can hope to find any good from him and do not feel safe from his harm.”

One of the people whose faces will shine on the Day of Judgement is the one who people can turn to and they receive benefit from her/him. Allah SWT places a level of distinction to those who sacrifice and spend their time caring for the needs of others. These are the ones who gladly give of their time, effort, the ones who people turn to for help and assistance when they are in need, the ones who people trust, who they know will look after them, protect them, try to help them fulfill their needs and often place the need of others well above their own needs.
If someone were to ask people if they would come to you for help or what they thought of you…what would they say? Do people feel safe around you? Or do they hide from you and would never tell you any of their personal business because they are worried what you will do with that information? Even worse than this are people who fear you totally. They worry that you are liable to explode with anger or will mentally, physically and emotionally hurt them. Unfortunately we see this in some of our families- men who hit their wives or talk down to them in a condescending manner; hurting them through their words and actions. We also see this in the way some parents raise their children; employers are with their employees and any other relationship where one person has some type of authority over another. Politically, we see this in some Muslim countries where governments are quick to shut down even the smallest of resistance to policies and protocol. All of these actions are diametrically opposed to what the prophet pbuh did throughout his life as a husband, father and leader.

He (peace be upon him) gave of himself to his family and community. We know that he would not sleep at night if there was money in his home, preferring to go out and give it to the poor. It was for this reason that many non-Muslims, Christians and Jews among others, would come to him to help them solve their problems. This was the mercy and kindness that he shared with others. Instead of judging, belittling or insulting others, our beloved Prophet peace be upon him always extended care and compassion to those around him. He reminded us that a Muslim is like the date palm tree; people may throw stones at it, but it gives them fruit in return. We saw this in how he cared for the lady who would always sweep her rubbish on him when he passed. It was the times that she did not do it, he went to look for her and to see if she was ok. Finding her unwell, he cared for her and looked after her needs. He undestood the big picture and demonstrated through his actions- why we have been placed here on this earth

This does not mean that those who give should do so without balance or care. They should be careful of over-extending themselves so that they are of no benefit to their own families or themselves. We must strive to maintain a balance, because we will be of no benefit to ourselves or others, if we give so much of ourselves that there is nothing left to give. In this way, we suffer and so do our families and the community we seek to serve. But it should also serve as a check point for those of us who get caught up in making money; spending time amassing wealth; becoming distracted from the big picture so that we do not remember the small kindnesses and our duties to our society. No prophet ever came to a group of people and said “Oh those of you who follow my mesage only”, instead they all called, “Oh my people”. The people in our society, community, our global village are our brothers and sisters in humanity and they have a haqq (right) on us, we cannot forget this.

Because we are a perfect part of Allah’s plan, Allah does not want us to allow ourselves to be oppressed in anyway- we should NOT oppress others and we should NOT even oppress ourselves. Remember that we get what we give and so the way we treat people, we should not be surprised if that type of treatment comes back to us during our life and more importantly in the hereafter. Of greater concern to us should be that Allah will hold us accountable in this life and the next for the way we treat others.

So how do you treat the people around you in your family, community, society and in our global village? What is your responsibility…think about it today.
“The worst human being in the sight of Allah is the one who people walk away from him because they fear what comes from him” (Bukhari and Muslim)

The gatherings of dhikr (rememberance) are the gatherings of the angels and likened to the gatherings of Paradise.

If you want to know how much God remembers you, ask yourself, “How much do I remember Allah?” and that will help you to know.

There are angels who specially search for those who are remembering Allah. When they find them, they call out to their troops and say “here is what you are looking for”. The angels circle those remembering their Lord, from the earth up to the heavens. Then they say to Allah, that they have found His servants remembering Him.

In a hadith Qudsi, we know that, Allah says, “I am near to the thought of My servant as he thinks about Me, and I am with him as he remembers Me. And if he remembers Me in his heart, I also remember him in My Heart, and if he remembers Me in assembly I remember him in assembly, better than his (remembrance), and if he draws near Me by the span of a palm, I draw near him by the cubit, and if he draws near Me by the cubit I draw near him by the space (covered by) two hands. And if he walks towards Me, I rush towards him.”

And in another beautiful hadith, narrated by Abu Huraira (ra), the prophet peace be upon him said:

“There is a group of Allah’s angels who move about the streets searching for the people who mention Allah (swt). When they find a group doing that, they call each other, “Here is what you are looking for.” Then they cover that group with their wings right up to the sky.

When these angels return to the heavens, their Lord asks them, although He knows the answer, “What were My Servants saying?”

They say, “They were describing Your holiness and greatness, and were busy praising and glorifying You.”

Allah (swt) then asks, “Have they seen Me?” The angels reply, “By Allah! They have not seen You.”

Allah (swt) says, “What would they have done if they could see me?” The angels reply, “They would then be even more busy in their worship, glorification, and praise.”

Then Allah (swt) asks, “What did they want from Me?” The angels reply, “They asked You for Jannah (Heaven).”

Allah (swt) says, “Have they seen it?” They answer, “No, by You! They have not seen it.”

Allah (swt) says, “What would they have done if they had seen it?” The angels answer, “Had they seen it, they would desire it more eagerly, and would work harder to deserve it.”

Then Allah (swt) asks, “From what thing did they want Me to protect them?” The angels answer, “They wanted to be protected from Hell.”

Allah (swt) says, “Have they seen it?” They answer, “No, by You! They have not seen it.”

Allah (swt) says, “What would they have done if they had seen it?” The angels answer, “Had they seen it, they would have feared it and run from it even more.”

Then Allah (swt) says, “Be My witnesses: I have forgiven them!”

One of the angels then says, “But among them was a person who is not one of them. He had simply come for something he needed.”

Allah (swt) says, “I have forgiven him too, just because he happened to sit with them. Anyone who sits with those people will not be a loser.”

“Therefore, remember Me; I will remember you. Give thanks to Me and reject Me not.” [Al-Baqarah 2:152]

Now that we have entered the final days of Ramadan, it is important for us to reflect and to think about the transformative nature that this month should be for us. Should we live to the end of this month, what will it leave us with?

Will we go back to being the same persons we were before the month began? Did we make ourselves become “abdul-ramadans” (the servant of Ramadan). By now, we should be thinking of how we will develop ourselves and begin to make some commitments regarding changes. So where do we begin?

“Successful are those who purify their hearts”

Let us remember that Allah will not change the condition of a people unless they first change that which is within their hearts (13:11 Qur’an)

So what do we need to look at within our hearts and what aspects of ourselves require attention? Let us look at how we can begin practicing something new, something that needs our focus beginning with our salat. Do we pray regularly? And when we do, are we present in our prayer? Do we pray with concentration? What other fard elements of our practice do we neglect? When will I wear hijab- after hajj (will I live that long)? Did I stop to remind myself that my time here is limited and that this life is a transition to the next and greater one?

Do I give charity? When is the last time that I did? What about backbiting? Am I always speaking about others behind their backs? Have I stopped to look after the needs of my sisters and brothers or am I content by fulfilling my own needs?

 Today, stop and think about something that you would like to improve. If they are large things, then choose one and make a commitment to try and change it. Work slowly but consistently. So that each day, regardless of what is going on, make time to focus on it.

As you develop consistency in this, add a little more and a little more. Gradual and consistent change is much better than quick, sudden and great changes.

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 Today, I will make the commitment to develop my relationship with Allah by working on _______________________________________________________________________

By the following date, ________________________ my goal is to be ________________ consistently.  ( an example would be to pray fajr and isha regularly; giving charity every week; wearing my hijab at all Islamic events and then later on regularly throughout my daily life; reducing smoking and eventually stopping all together; develop better eating habits etc) 

* for those who are already consistent in their prayer etc. it may be useful to add something new OR to develop what you are already doing (for example praying sunnah consistently, praying tahajjud, reading qur’an at least 10 minutes every day; stop backbiting others etc).

Sometimes do we stop to consider that we may actually be placing ourselves as being equal to Allah or even more when we decide that we will purposely NOT do something that He has required us to do? In this case, I am not talking about the times we make mistakes or commit sins as a “slip”. Here I am talking about purposefully and intentionally deciding that we will NOT do something OR we will do something contrary to what Allah has demanded from us and then justifying our actions.

A good example would be if we decided that we will NOT pray. It is one thing, not to pray and to know that we should pray and realize that we are making an error which we should try to rectify. It is something completely different when we decide that we will NOT do something OR do something contrary to what Allah requires us to do and to then justify why it is ok to do so. We may find arbitrary arguments to try and back up our claims; sometimes we may even fool ourselves for a while and even worse, we may encourage others to follow us in our misguided actions. When we continually and perpetually do this, perhaps it is like saying, “Allah has laid down these rules but I will lay down my own rules.” But there is a silent voice in our hearts that calls on us and tells us that we are not making the right choice. Today, we need to remember that we should listen to the voice within for it is a source of guidance for us.

As Ramadan is coming to an end, we must take notice of these elements within our actions. Another example of this, is smoking. There are some of us who smoke and try to justify why we do it; we do so at the risk of our own bodies and even worse, we may be harming those around us when we smoke. Today, it is consensus that smoking is prohibited. Yet there are many of us who continue to do so. Some say its “a habit and I cant stop”; others say “ I don’t have the strength to stop”. Yet they neglect to think about the fact that they could also be robbing their families of their presence and ability to be around for them. How can a mother or father justify smoking, knowing it could kill them and rob their children of their presence. What will they say to Allah, if becomes the source of their sickness.  Likewise, there are others who engage in activities we know are wrong but find a way to justify them.

If we find ourselves in this situation, and we don’t find the strength within ourselves to stop or change what we are doing right away, we must begin by hating the action in our hearts. We must remember that Allah’s guidelines are in our best interests and we must work to try and achieve what He has laid out for us. As we begin to do this, we will slowly try to begin making the changes we need. At that point, when we recognize it, we should pray and ask Allah SWT for His forgiveness, for courage and strength to overcome whatever our obstacles and to help us to focus on His Pleasure only and not to become oppressed by the opinions of people.

Shaitan will use such avenues to prey upon us; to call on our carnal instincts and to move us to a level of being that is based on primal, base desires and instincts. This path of Allah, calls on us to be balanced individuals who, all at once, are physical, social, emotional and spiritual beings.

Imam Ahmad (ra) when he was on his death bed was heard saying “not yet, not yet”. His disciple asked him, why he was saying that. Imam Ahmad replied that Satan had appeared before him and told him, “You escaped me, Ahmad”, to which he replied “not yet”. He said, “As long as I am alive, I have not escaped you”.

We know that Shaitan’s plan is to distract as many people as possible from the path of Allah SWT. During these beautiful days and nights, He is chained and the gates of Paradise are opened to us. It is a chance to be able to reflect and develop our higher selves and to hopefully evolve as spiritual beings despite the physical distractions that often pre-occupy us.

Today, we should look inside ourselves to see if our actions will gain us the displeasure of Allah and the pleasure of Shaitan. After Ramadan, how will you hold yourself accountable? Remember, so long as there is breath in our body- we have not escaped the whispers of Shaitan. He whispers but it is we who listen when he does. In the end, he only brings an idea and it is we who act on it.

Let us make a commitment to fight our lower selves which Shaitan appeals to, after this Ramadan. Let us commit to trying to make the changes we have been so slow to make. We made our mistakes, we have learnt from them, let us now come back to the One Who Loves us and Who has never left us. Time for us to develop an agenda for change for ourselves.

Did you expect to receive a Ramadan Reflection last night? Did you stop to think why it did not arrive in your inbox? Did you even notice that there was none? For those of you who have been following the reflections regularly, what did you think was the issue?

So many times, we get into a habit that we begin to expect certain things will happen. In fact, we begin to take things for granted. This attitude is one of the worst traps a person can fall into, especially in our relationships with people and even moreso, with our relationship with God.

How many of us go to sleep each night with the expectation that we will open our eyes the next morning? We expect that Allah SWT will give us our life again even though, there is always a chance that we do not wake up. When we begin to live taking life for granted, we stop being able to enjoy the blessing of living in the present. We begin to lose our passion for life and begin to engage in the dullness of “routine”.

Even worse, is when we begin to take PEOPLE in our lives for granted. Whether it is our parents, friends, volunteers who help support our organizations, imams, counsellors, wives, husbands, children, siblings….the list goes on. We begin to expect that certain people will “always” be there. We forget to be thankful to them for what they do, for being there, for taking the time to care and unfortunately even begin to neglect the relationship that we have.

Still, if you were to think about WHO/WHAT is most important in your life; going back to the question I asked earlier “If you had a month to live- who would you want to spend your time with/ what would you want to do?” Then stop to think do you treasure the moments you have now with them; do you take time to do the things that really matter (like your prayer)?

How many times have we taken our children for granted- leaving them in front of tvs as we fill our lives with other pre-occupations; or taken a wife for granted and expect that she will always be there and will keep doing all the extra things that she does; the husband who may work tirelessly; the friend who is always there for us, but we never seem to find time for them; the community activists who are always willing to give their time and efforts while we never stop to see if their needs are met; assuming that people who help us are well, while we continue to take from them…there are too many examples.

What about our relationship with Allah? We know that Allah, is our Lord, the One Who created us; Who, in our times of greatest need, is always there for us, but what do we do with what He has given to us? Have we done justice to our relationship with our Lord OR are we content to assume that we will be alive and maybe we will change later? The problem is, what if we die in the next minute…in a few moments, in the next few days…none of us truly knows when that time is and so we should really think about who/what we take for granted before its too late.

Take benefit of five before five:  Your youth before your old age; Your health before your sickness; Your wealth before your poverty; Your free-time before your preoccupation and Your life before your death: hadith of the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.

“If one of you loves his brother (or sister), let him tell him (her).”

The love* that we express for our brothers/sisters is meant to build our relationships with each other. It helps to guide our interactions with our brothers and sisters and it’s consequences have implications that can guide us in this life and the next. On one occasion Idrees al-Khawadani said to Mu`aadh ibn Jabal: “I love you for the sake of Allah.” Mu`aadh responded: “Behold! Then, behold again the good news! For I have heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) saying: ‘On the Day of Judgment, seats will be placed around the Throne [of Allah] for a group of people whose faces resemble the full moon. These people shall not experience any fear or terror although all others will. They are the friends of Allah upon whom there shall be no fear and who shall not be sad. It was asked, ‘Who are those people, O Messenger of Allah?’ The Messenger (pbuh) replied, ‘They are the ones who love one another for the sake of Allah, The Exalted.”

When we love someone, we often make sacrifices for them, we are willing to “go the extra mile” and will often put ourselves through difficulties in order to ensure that their needs are met and that they are safe. In many cases, we can recognize signs when someone is in trouble before they even ask for help and are often there before they need to ask us for help. Do these ethics describe our relationships with our brothers and sisters? We know of one story when one of the companions began to cry when another companion came to ask for his help. When he was asked why he was crying, he responded that his brother had to ask for his help, when he should have anticipated his need. And the needs of our brothers and sisters can be many, emotional, financial, social, naseeha and more.

Imam Hassan Al-Banna explained that you must acquaint yourself with the financial situation of your brothers and they should know your financial situation in order for the ethic of mutual support to be fully realized in the proper way. In this way, brothers or sisters can ensure that one is not “living the high life” while the other is in poverty and hardship. How can your sister or brother be desperate in the day and in distress at night, worrying about rent payments, food or medicine while you go to sleep with your stomach filled and content? Is this the brotherhood that Allah SWT wants or the brotherhood displayed by the Ansar and the Mujahideen.

Remember that charity to your brother takes precedence over charity to the poor. Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “I would much rather give twenty dirhams to a brother in Allah than spend 100 dirhams on the needy. This is because of the right your brother has upon your wealth.” Another hadith says: “Whoever relieves a believer from a distress of this life, Allah will relieve him from a distress on the Day of Judgment. Whosoever brings ease to a believer who is in difficulty, Allah will bring ease to him in both this life and the next. Whosoever conceals the shortcomings of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his shortcomings in this world and the next. Allah will always help a servant as long as that servant helps his brother.” This is especially important for those who spend time working actively in the community, so that we do not treat each other as simply “workers” but we remember the important ties established within our ranks since the time of the Ansar and Muhajireen.When we do community work, it should strengthen this ethic between us, not alienate us from each other. This also goes for those of our brothers or sisters who may or may not be as practicing as we are. We love and support our brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah. That means that we do what we do, with no expectations but rather with a sense of duty and purpose.

We must spend time evaluating how we interact with our brothers and sisters and check ourselves before we are held accountable by Allah SWT, if our neighbours have rights over us so much so that the prophet pbuh thought they would have inheritance rights, what about our brothers and sisters we love for His sake? I leave you with a final thought- the blessing of just visiting a sister/brother for the sake of Allah because of that love….

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once said: “A man set out to visit one of his brothers for the sake of Allah and Allah (swt) appointed an angel to watch over him. The angel asked the man, ‘Where are you going?’ The man replied: ‘I wish to visit my brother.’ ‘Do you need anything from him?’ asked the angel. ‘No,’ replied the man. ‘Then why are you going to visit him?” inquired the angel. The man answered, ‘I love him for Allah’s Sake.’ The angel said, ‘Then know that Allah has sent me to tell you that Allah loves you because of your love for your brother and that He has decreed Paradise for you’.” (Muslim)

Shouldn’t we be doing more than we are right now?

*
on the off chance there is mis-understanding, this means the love a brother expresses for another brother and the love a sister expresses for another sister and not between brothers and sisters. (just thought I would   mention that